What should be used to maintain a marriage? This is a problem that many couples want to overcome, so most couples avoid behaviors that are harmful to marriage. Today, the editor has summarized some behaviors that are harmful to marriage. , see if you are doing it or experiencing it too. Of course what I want to say is that if you want your marriage to last, you need to detect it early and correct it early.
1. Ice cellar style marriage
In the marriage, I feel that I am dead and the marriage exists in name only. But due to some reasons, the marriage could not be ended, and there was only a certificate left between the couple.
This kind of marriage, because the long-term depression cannot be relieved, usually results in serious illness, death, outbreak, and the end of the marriage of one or both parties.
Suggestions:
If the couple still has the will to change their relationship, they can use some methods to arouse the love buried in the couple. If you start from yourself, find the endogenous motivation and lost vitality, and become a person with the strength and courage to change the situation. Of course, if the economy, reproduction, and emotions that marriage depends on do not exist, please let the other person live.
2. Fiery marriage
I really don’t want to argue anymore, I’m too tired. The two people quarreled hysterically regardless of the occasion. This pattern will not only destroy the relationship between husband and wife, but even plant the seeds of fear of marriage in young children.
Suggestions:
If the relationship between husband and wife is not bad, but they are stuck in a quarrel mode and cannot get out of it, they can learn "Nonviolent Communication" together. Observe, express feelings, make needs and requests instead of consuming each other's emotions in arguments.
3. Widow-style marriage
Most Chinese-style marriages involve the elderly and their daughters raising children together. What about the children? I only go to my mother for problems, and my father is mainly responsible for going to work.
Women in the family bear most of the parenting tasks, and they also have to cooperate with school childcare and are also the mainstay at work. Being caught between family and work, it’s easy to become mentally and physically exhausted.
Suggestions:
It is necessary to invite fathers to participate more in the growth of children, so as to bring the excellent qualities of men such as adventure, rigor and courage to their children. Women should set aside time and energy to meet their deepest needs, and they can also encourage and praise their fathers more. Let dad find parent-child fun through participation.
4. Resentful Marriage
Your complaints are the slow poison that kills my emotions. Some women complain while doing it, which makes those who listen feel bored and want to escape.
Suggestions:
As the complaining party, allow yourself to rest when you want to, and work happily when you work. I would rather do nothing and do less than work and complain at the same time. You work hard and suffer from othersHate. The non-doer can also do more housework, encourage those who do more housework, and express gratitude more.
5. Boundary-free marriage
One or both spouses cannot live in harmony with each other's parents. The family of origin interferes too much in the small family, and the conflicts between the two parties become entrenched.
Suggestions:
On the one hand, you need to fully express your love for your parents, and on the other hand, you need psychological weaning. Learn to take responsibility for your choices and your family, establish boundaries, and find each other's place.
That’s all for today. If you have any questions, you can ask me privately. See you in the next issue.
