Husband and wife are originally birds of the same forest, but they fly apart when disaster strikes. When faced with the breakdown of a couple's relationship, it is easy to have the idea of ????divorcing, and then the couple "goes on their own", resulting in the tragedy of the wife and son being separated. When encountering a breakdown in the relationship between a husband and wife, how should we repair the couple? What about the feelings between each other?
1. Break prejudice
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the
Easiest person to fool.——Richard P. Feynman
Prejudicial thinking is a prerequisite that can easily lead to conflicts. In many unhappy marriages, couples have deep prejudices against each other and believe that The other party is a "bad person", "a heartless person", "a person who is difficult to communicate with"...
It is this kind of prejudice that leads to great differences between husband and wife on some very common things, and then Cause the accumulation of conflicts.
In fact, this kind of prejudice is a kind of self-deception, brainwashing (indoctrination) oneself-the other party is such a bad character.
When a couple learns to break their prejudices, they will find that many of the previous conflicts were actually misunderstandings and misunderstandings.
2. Adjust the marriage model
Some common marriage relationship models:
1) One is constantly demanding, the other is infinitely patient
2) Torturing each other, everyone has a very painful life
3) Ignoring each other, the two of them are more like partners when they are together Live life
4) Respect each other as guests, life is dull and lack passion
5) ……
In couples whose marriages have broken down, the pattern of getting along with each other in marriage is actually Less optimistically, Leo Tolstoy once said - happy families are all alike, and unhappy families are each unhappy in their own way.
In the wrong mode of getting along with each other in marriage, the relationship between husband and wife will naturally be easily worn away. Marriage is not only about understanding and tolerance, but also about learning how to get along with each other.
When a couple’s relationship breaks down, you have to adjust your marriage model to have the possibility of rebuilding your relationship. If you still treat your wife the same as before, it will be difficult to achieve results.
If you want the present to be different from the past, study the past. —— Spinoza
3. Deepen communication
The relationship between husband and wife breaks downIn order to be solved, it is necessary to deepen communication, which includes equal dialogue, respectful attitude, harmonious sex life, and joint participation in family trivial matters...
When a couple faces all kinds of life together, By helping the other party share their worries, many contradictions and conflicts have actually been solved.
The most fearful thing is that after the relationship between husband and wife breaks down, because both parties still cannot let go of "face" and other reasons, they refuse to communicate and do not give each other a chance to "start over".