A few days ago, a friend told me something like this:
"She and I have just been in love for three months, and I can’t wait to be with her every day. A week ago, In my mind, she is like a fairy who doesn’t eat the fireworks of this world. Even if I look at her every day, I won’t feel annoyed.
“But when I had dinner with her a few days ago, after finishing the meal. , she suddenly burped, I was a little surprised at the time, I felt like the filter was broken. "
" She was a little embarrassed at the time. I jokingly said, "You finally have some fireworks, otherwise I am always afraid that one day you, a fairy, will not want me." "
"After that time, I obviously felt much more comfortable getting along with her, and she became much more real in front of me. I saw more of her sides. To be honest, I was a little disappointed. I felt like she It felt like falling off the altar, but besides disappointment, what was more important was the desire to continue to understand her. ”
The situation of my friend is not an exception. Almost every couple will go through such a process of disappointment. When two people are in love, due to the effect of hormones, we see each other with an added layer of beauty. No matter how you look at the face filter, you often have endless things to say and wish you could stay together every day. However, after the love period, the enthusiasm and novelty often fade away. So how to maintain the relationship after the love period?
1. The best side
In order to leave a good impression on the other party, we will try our best to Showing the best of ourselves.
At the same time, we are surrounded by each other’s strengths and receive his “best side.”
It is undeniable that this kind of love is true. The feeling is full of attraction, and there is a certain truth in the saying that people in love have zero IQ.
But this kind of feeling is idealized love, and it is also a kind of love in the infatuation stage. Because what you show to each other is not your true self, but an idealized version of yourself.
When you start to feel disappointed in your partner, it means that you see that he is not ideal enough. The real side, from this point on, your love has entered a real and firm stage.
In almost every relationship, there are disappointing moments, and sometimes, Disappointment is just a manifestation of reality
2. Sincere interest
Because everyone is multi-faceted. , there is always one side to him or her, or there are certain behaviors that you don’t like, this is normal
If you still want to be with the other person after such a disappointment, it means that you can accept the truth and don’t like it. Perfect TA
Disappointment shatters our idealized paradigm of love, which is what we begin to cultivate.A great opportunity to develop a genuine interest in the other person.
The so-called sincere interest is actually our curiosity about the inner world of the other half, such as:
What did he do today?
How is his mood?< /p>
What dreams and goals does he have?
What does he want to do in the future?
These questions are very common, but they are also easily ignored.
3. The foundation of long-term love
Some people are disappointed after seeing the truer side of the other person. Apart from that, they have no desire to continue to understand each other, so they decide that the other person is not the right person.
Such people only enjoy the freshness and romance of being in love, and they pursue an idealized love.
Some people can accept the truer side of the other person, but at the same time, they put more interest in transforming the other person. They keep what they like and change what they don’t like, but people also If it's not plasticine, how can it be shaped into whatever you want?
Therefore, some people are in love for a short period of time and often end the relationship with "I don't feel it", while some people have been in love for many years, but in the end they only end with "It's easy to get together and let go".
It is said that novelty is the number one killer of relationships, but if you both look at each other with curiosity, you can constantly discover parts of the other person that are new to you.
Four: Learn to accept
In this way, the freshness of this relationship will continue to flow. When you both have an accepting attitude, look at the other person's things that may disappoint you. When you are sincere, the other person can also feel your positive emotions.
You will find that the other person may still be inconsistent with your expectations in some aspects.
But on the other hand, it can bring you a new experience. If you get along with him or her, The sense of surprise and satisfaction at the time is far greater than the disappointment of not meeting expectations, so why should you insist on a "perfect lover"?
