Everyone is a creature that weighs the pros and cons. The so-called tolerance and understanding are just instantaneous and periodic acts of kindness. Therefore, quarrels between lovers are a normal thing. So how can lovers avoid quarrels? ?
1. Experience the other person’s feelings in reverse
The easiest reason to quarrel in love is to ignore the other person of empathy.
Therefore, if we want to avoid quarrels, when we can’t control our emotions, we might as well think from the perspective of the other person. If the recipient of our bad words is ourselves, then we will What emotions arise.
Put yourself in the perspective of the other person, experience the other person’s feelings, and empathize with them instead of continuing to vent your emotions at a high density. When we can understand the other person, we can naturally deal with it more calmly. Think about the problem and reduce the occurrence of quarrels.
2. Think of your own similar experiences
Everyone has been misunderstood, accused, and questioned. When we are emotional, we might as well associate it with similar previous experiences:
What harm did past experiences cause to ourselves?
What kind of state is our partner in at this time? Under pressure?
Is there a better way to avoid quarrels?
This association is like a chain of thoughts, which can allow you to quickly withdraw from your own thoughts. Negative emotions, re-examining the current emotional conflicts, can make it easier for each other to calm down, and find ways to solve the problem instead of quarreling.
3. Learn to be self-aware
In maintaining an intimate relationship, one of the most important points is—— Self-awareness.
You might as well notice the unreasonable way you handled things in the past from the subtle points, make slight changes, and make contrasting actions in familiar scenes.
For example, you often complain that the other person buys things randomly. This time you no longer complain and accuse like before. Instead of being sarcastic and sarcastic, you express your needs gently.
When you can express your needs correctly, the other person will naturally change.
So, do you understand?
The quarrel between lovers essentially comes from the incompetent love of both parties. And when each other learns to examine needs, interact reasonably, and experience empathy, this subtle growth is enough to calm down the trivial conflicts in life, making you quarrel less frequently, or even avoid quarrels completely.