Whether it’s love at first sight or long-lasting love, I believe both parties hope to get together eventually, but things often backfire and they break up before the relationship lasts long. If this happens occasionally, it's normal, but if it happens every relationship, then you should think about how to have a long-term relationship.
You must know that long-term relationships in love also need to be maintained, and no relationship can last long. , it is very possible that the first step is wrong.
Many people do not have a clear understanding of their feelings, and stable relationships require clear understanding. Only with understanding can there be accurate and clear actions.
For example, if you change your job and want to rent a new house, price, location, living environment, etc. can all be used as screening criteria.
At this time, we need to consider these clearly. What is the most important among the criteria, and then decide which house to choose based on the importance of different criteria. Otherwise, there are so many properties, and it would be so confusing to choose. The same is true for relationships. If you want to have a long-term relationship, you must have a clear self-understanding.
The first step is to determine whether both parties have a good impression. After all, a long-term relationship must be based on good impression.
Under normal circumstances, when we see the opposite sex we like, we will secrete dopamine, a substance that makes us feel happy.
At this time, we must look at our likes calmly and correctly, and we must not be carried away by our likes.
Otherwise, when you confirm the relationship with each other through a flirtatious operation and enter the love stage, you will soon find that the other person may not be the same as when we first met.
Especially when we get along with girls in the early stages, we often have high needs. We like her and make judgments about her based on our preferences. At this time, the other party is shrouded in your cognitive halo, and you even think that she is right and good in everything.
Once you get over this novelty, you catch her, you finish what you need to do, and you discover that she is not what you imagined. That makes me think of GG.
Therefore, when you don’t know the other person well before falling in love, you should appropriately lower your needs and expectations. Look at the other person objectively and don't always imagine it.
Of course, in addition to the good impression of both parties, a long-term relationship also requires both parties to constantly get along with each other and know how to judge whether the mutual understanding of both parties is consistent enough.
For example, whether the values ??that both parties value match, as well as differences in thinking habits, marriage and love mentality, money values, etc.
For example, if you want to continue working hard in your career, butThe girl wants to get married and have children as soon as possible. If your cognitions do not reach unity as you get along, it will be difficult to maintain this relationship.
We can imagine if you are in contact with several different types of girls now, some are princess-like, and some are too independent. , some have incompatible personalities and are too tiring to get along with.
Then, when you are aware of these problems, you will have a clearer understanding of your goals and know what kind of girlfriend you want to find.
Because everyone’s cognition will be constantly refreshed and upgraded with their own experiences, so before we find true love, we have to constantly filter out those who are not suitable for us. Only then can you keep getting closer to the one you want in the end.
This is why everyone always says that we should fall in love more. This is why we repeatedly emphasize opening up social circles and expanding resources for the opposite sex.
