It is said that a relationship requires two people to work together, so do you know how to manage a relationship so that it will continue to heat up? What are the techniques to heat up a couple's relationship? Today I will share with you 4 tips , I wish your relationship will skyrocket!
1. Describe facts instead of evaluation
For example: You are a person I'm so lazy that I don't even wash my clothes.
The fact is "you didn't do the laundry."
The comment is "You are so lazy."
Mixing facts and evaluations, we tend to only hear negative comments, and then think that the other party is criticizing us. Our first reaction is to refute the other party, and the subsequent conversation can easily become emotional.
2. Express feelings instead of guessing
Still no laundry.
The feeling is "I feel sad".
The guess is "I feel like you don't love me anymore."
The process of expressing feelings is also a process of showing weakness, which helps to resolve the conflict between two people. Guessing the other person's thoughts can easily increase the conflict between the two.
3. Express needs rather than accusations
Face the matter of not doing laundry.
The need is "I hope you can understand me."
The accusation is "Why can't you understand me?"
The original intention of both expressions is to let the other party understand us, but the first expression is a request, and the second expression is more like accusing the other party. Our first reaction when facing accusations Just a rebuttal.
4. Express requests rather than orders
Want the other person to help with the laundry.
The request is "I want you to help me wash my clothes."
The command is "I want you to do the laundry now."
Requests are gentle and positive; commands are forced and negative. No one likes to be ordered by others, so you need to be careful when expressing yourself.
If you connect the above four steps, you can say this:
I feel very sad that you didn’t wash the clothes. I hope you can understand me and help me wash them. Take off your clothes.
And many people who can’t communicate, I think they will say this:
You are so lazy. I feel that you don’t love me anymore. Why can’t you understand me? I want you to do the laundry now!
Two different ways of expression, will the former make people more comfortable? And it is easier to communicate successfully, so this way of communication can allow us to avoid many unnecessary quarrels, and naturally the relationship will get better and better. So, have you learned it?
