When boyfriends and girlfriends quarrel, they often say words that hurt each other's soul. These words may be spoken unintentionally, but they can deeply hurt the other person's heart. During the quarrel, we should try to avoid using the following words that are most likely to hurt the other party's heart.
1. Devaluing the other person
When we are angry or hurt, it is easy to vent our emotions by devaluing the other person. We may say: "You are good for nothing", "You know nothing", etc. Such words directly attack the other person's self-esteem and self-confidence, making them feel worthless.
Instead, we should respect each other's feelings and efforts and encourage them to get better. For example, we can say: "I know you have been working hard, but this time you are a little disappointed." This way of expression can not only convey our emotions, but also protect the other person's self-esteem.
2. Blaming the other person’s past
In an argument, it’s easy to attack the other person with their past mistakes. We might say: "You never change," "You've always been this way," etc. Such words make the other person feel like they are defined by their past mistakes and cannot escape them.
Instead, we should focus on the present and the future, not the past. We can say: "I hope you can change something to make our relationship better." Such expressions can encourage the other party to face the problem actively and give them the opportunity to change.
3. Blame the other person’s personality
In an argument, it’s easy to blame the other person’s behavior on their personality traits. We may say: "That's the kind of person you are", "You never understand others" and so on. Such words make the other person feel that they cannot change and cannot be understood.
Instead, we should clearly identify specific behaviors and problems and propose constructive solutions. For example, we can say: "I feel like you didn't take my feelings into consideration in this matter. Can we find a solution together?" Such expressions can make the other person feel that we care and understand, and inspire them. Actively participate in problem solving.
4. Threatening the other party to leave
In a quarrel, it is easy for us to express ourselves in a threatening way own dissatisfaction. We might say, "If you do this again, I'll leave you," "I can find someone better," etc. Such words make the other person feel fearful and insecure.
On the contrary, we should solve problems with equality and respect. We can say, "I think we need some time to calm down before we talk again." This way of expressing yourself gives the other person space and time to think, and protects them.their emotional safety.
5. Ignoring the other person’s feelings
In quarrels, we tend to focus only on our own feelings and ignore the other person’s feelings. We may say: "You don't understand how I feel", "You never care about me", etc. Such words make the other person feel ignored and ununderstood.
Instead, we should listen to the other person’s feelings and try to understand their position. We can say: "I know you also have your own difficulties, and we can find a balance point together." This way of expression can make the other party feel our care and understanding, and promote communication and negotiation between the two parties.
When boyfriends and girlfriends quarrel, we should try to avoid using words that hurt each other's soul. Instead, we should approach problems with respect, understanding, and care, and protect each other's emotional safety.
