Frankly speaking, not all marriages come together because of love. Many people just get along because both parties feel that they are more suitable for each other. So how can such a loveless marriage be maintained for a long time?
First try to like the other person, but don't expect to have heartbeat or passion.
Psychological research shows that people who lack "chemical reactions" in the first encounter are unlikely to develop a sense of electricity later on.
Perhaps through getting along you find that the other person is a very nice person, treats you well, and has many advantages, but these will not make you feel excited.
If you expect to get the passion of love from the other person, you are likely to become more negative because of disappointment, or even become resistant to the other person.
So, just like making new friends, you might as well get to know the other person first, see what strengths and hobbies the other person has, create some common topics and interactions, and explore this partner through getting along.
If you can eat together, chat together, and play together, you will definitely like each other more.
Secondly, establish a benign conflict resolution mechanism.
Many people may think that it is easier for two people to get along without love. Because when they feel that they don't love each other, they won't care so much, so they won't get emotional and can solve any problems smoothly.
This kind of thinking actually ignores a problem: two people without love will be more selfish and careless when getting along.
When a couple without love has a disagreement, it is often difficult to reach a consensus quickly, because your first reaction will definitely be - why should I let you go?
Therefore, it is best for two people to have an in-depth discussion at the beginning and clarify each other's responsibilities and obligations, such as what matters must be discussed by both parties, what matters do not interfere with each other, and who is involved in which issues. Has primary decision-making authority, etc.
It is better to establish a coping mechanism before encountering specific problems than to solve them after they occur. It can enhance understanding in advance and reduce misunderstandings, and can also avoid friction and collisions.
After reaching an agreement on the macro level, you can also work with the other party to refine the details. You both can write down the issues that you each think are important on paper and slowly talk to the other party.
Both people explore each other’s ideas and needs with an open mind. Don’t panic when encountering inconsistencies. First seek common ground while reserving differences, and then make a detailed plan to slowly help each other reach a consensus.
Finally, try to build an emotional connection.
The absence of love does not mean the absence of feelings. Passion cannotCultivation, but feelings can be cultivated.
When you and the other person already like getting along with each other, you need to further establish a deeper emotional connection with him or her.
Take making friends as an analogy. Some friends can only eat, drink and have fun together, while with some friends you can confide in them.
It’s not that the former is not good enough, but that the latter and you already have a stronger foundation of trust. You two have seen each other’s vulnerability and embarrassment, and you have also relied on each other.
The same goes for partners. Some partners appear to be harmonious on the surface, but neither of them dares to take off their disguise and face each other.
Even if there is love, the relationship can easily collapse because there is no substantial emotional connection.
Therefore, usually guide the other person to express their needs to you, allow the other person to expose their vulnerability to you, and the other person will develop a sense of belonging to you as they are satisfied and comforted by you again and again;
At the same time, you must also let the other person feel your need for the other person, always acknowledge the other person's efforts in a timely manner, and encourage him or her in areas where he or she is not good enough, so that he or she can fully feel his or her own value in the family.
When both you and the other person feel more and more that you two are of the same mind as a couple, you will take another step towards happiness.
