Question: I start a business in a second-tier city. My current monthly income is about 2.5W. I have no house or car and have savings. I can pay the down payment at any time. I didn’t buy a car because I basically don’t need a car in my daily life. My girlfriend’s monthly income is 7-9K. Her parents paid a down payment for a house two years ago, and she is paying off the loan herself.
We have been talking for more than a year, but we have never met our parents at home. Her family doesn’t particularly recognize me because I haven’t bought a house and I’m not a local (my home is three hours’ drive away from here). I completely understand that the woman wants a sense of security. During the Chinese New Year last year, she reminded me to ask me to buy some things for her parents and let her take them home. She said more nice things about me to show her parents' favor, so I thought it was polite and she did it.
It’s the Chinese New Year this year, so I took the initiative to buy a gift. She said that this way she could express my gratitude to her parents. Makes a better impression on me. I told her that you should buy something this year and I would take it back to my parents so that they would have a good impression of you. Unexpectedly, my girlfriend got angry. She thought this would make it appear that she was in a hurry and didn't want to marry me unless I did. She only brought gifts when she thought she wanted to come to my door. But I have already prepared gifts twice, and I think it’s normal to bring something to the other person’s parents to show your affection before visiting your partner’s home. Why would my girlfriend be angry and resist?
What should I do if my girlfriend gets angry when I ask her to buy gifts for my parents during the Chinese New Year
Answer: The reason why your girlfriend gets angry about preparing gifts for your parents is because she From the bottom of her heart, like her parents, she feels that you are not good enough for her, and she also looks down on you from the bottom of her heart. So she allowed her family to belittle you. Not only did she not take the initiative to say good things to you and win your parents' approval, but she also "reluctantly" asked you to buy gifts to gain your favor.
I feel that she did not take your side, and she is quite aggrieved. She feels that you did not chase her, did not beg for mercy from her parents, did not cry and beg them to condescend to their excellent daughter. marry you. She "feels that she has to at least come to my house to bring something." In the same way, if you don't even come to her house, why do you give gifts twice? Is it because her family has no intention of meeting you?
I would say that her parents should have some backbone: We don’t look down on this uncle, even if you bring us gold and silver. It's not rare. Take the gift away and don't leave it here to be an eyesore. But what do they do? We just accepted the gift, but we don’t look down on people anyway. Don't you think this was done improperly? And it was your girlfriend who suggested it. What role does she play in the process? You can’t think about it yourself.
And do your parents approve or disapprove of her? You didn't write it either. I think she respects neither you nor your parents. Her point of view is that she doesn't want to appear that she is in a rush, won't marry you unless she is married, or is cheap. It's because she feels good about herself and feels that you are not good enough for her. onlyrefer to.
