How long can a marriage last after an affair is forgiven? Some cheaters are looking for passion and excitement outside of life, letting the good life go without cherishing the original partner; but some cheaters seem to be the cheating party's problem, but in fact the original root cause lies with the cheated party. So even if the cheating is forgiven, these problems must be resolved before the marriage can go further. Let’s share how to repair a relationship after cheating.
1. Material and intimate relationships in marriage
Material and intimate relationships represent the sincerity of both parties, personal rights within marriage and basic material security. The other represents self-esteem, confidence and basic needs in intimate relationships. Regarding marriage, there are two issues that are always difficult for everyone to talk about, but they always surface unknowingly at critical times. One is money and the other is sex.
Most of us, even when faced with uneven distribution of partners, fail to give ourselves a sufficient sense of security in these two aspects.
If you tolerate these two aspects, you won’t be able to tolerate it when it comes to the details of life.
I have seen too many unsatisfied men and women behind closed doors who are unwilling to go home and have affairs behind their backs. Some have cheated, some have not cheated, and they are all absent-minded; some have been rejected too much. Many times, coupled with the high pressure of work outside, it has led to depression and being picky about all aspects of life.
If you don’t always pay attention to disharmony in this aspect, it will be useless to just muddle along.
If you treat the symptoms but not the root cause, then it would be strange if the intimacy is not enough and it will not cause problems for a long time.
Suppose that your feelings in marriage have been neglected and unsatisfied for a long time. At this time, someone appears in your life who is gentle and considerate of your feelings and difficulties. Suppose he is more charming, It is difficult for both men and women not to compare themselves with their current counterparts.
Even if your moral quality and family values ??can resist it for a while, how long will it take to care and give? Is your partner's attitude getting worse?
Some things are not achieved because they lack a fuse and emotional impulse.
What to do?
Husband and wife have an obligation to satisfy each other. If you really don’t want it, provide more emotional value, give more affirmation to the other person, consciously reduce the number of times you reject the other person, and don’t be too self-centered and just do whatever you want;
It’s best to have a book Be open and transparent. No matter who is in charge of the accounts, it is best to let her know the flow direction of each account. It is best for both of you to have some flexible funds to socialize.
Money issues should be discussed openly. Including large expenditures and how to allocate them, they must be discussed. It is best not to make the decision alone.
Understand her motives and psychology for cheating. People who have cheated need to accept being observed. Suppose she was confused for a moment and never got over it again. If she is doing well in other aspects, considering the cost of divorce and the situation, divorce isStill need to be cautious.
2. Pay attention to the psychological needs of marriage
People should not just focus on the result that they are the victims, but also look at the process that caused such a result.
For example, she had psychological needs and wanted to communicate, but you rejected her; she had physical needs that needed to be met, and you refused; should you reflect on whether you are a tool in the marriage? Rather than a normal man.
Marriage is about mutual respect, balance and mutual satisfaction.
Only those who share and understand each other’s feelings can further run a good marriage. She does not exist to satisfy your marriage expectations. You need to know what she wants, and it doesn't have to be perfect, but if the basic things are met, the stability of the marriage can be guaranteed.
For example, the sense of security and trust brought by men’s material needs in marriage are rarely mentioned.
What to do? Understand her motivations and reasons for cheating, objectively evaluate and adjust your own mentality. Listen to her, communicate more, find out where her faults are and where your faults are, and try to change what you did wrong. Both parties must show sincerity. Understand each other's needs for marriage and relationships, and truly value them.
Communication is not just about listening to what she says, you have to actually do it. For example, she longs for a wife who knows both coldness and hotness, and has someone to listen to her. Then you need to learn to listen and share, and provide more support and empathy.
You can also let her understand your desire. You hope she can praise you more and provide more emotional value. You can start by slowly cultivating details such as saying hello when you go out every day, saying I love you before hanging up the phone, etc.
For those who have cheated, you can make three chapters. Now that you've said it, don't mention it after the quarrel; if you really can't get over the hurdle in your heart, you can choose divorce.
Therefore, now that something has happened, then self-examine your own problems, correct and repair your own problems, see more about what your wife needs, communicate more, and consciously satisfy the other person's physical and mental needs in the marriage. Psychological needs can play a very good role. When both parties attach importance to the business relationship, the relationship will naturally get better.
