I have discovered a very strange phenomenon. It is difficult for couples to get married after they have been together for a long time. For example, some couples have been together for two or three years. If they consider getting married, they usually get married directly. For those couples who have been together for a long time, 7 years or more, their relationship should be very strong, but it is generally difficult for them to get married. Do you know why?
Why is it difficult for couples to get married after being together for a long time?
In fact, the reason is very simple: "The test of marriage is not how long two people have been in love, or how passionately they love, but the ability to love each other."
Why Some people have been in love for a long time, but in the end it still ends without any problems? It's because the two of them were really just in love, taking it one step at a time, and never made any plans or plans for the future.
On the surface, the two seem to be inseparable and live each day vigorously. They occasionally buy luxury goods and go on a casual trip during the holidays. As long as they like each other and have good character, Not bad at all, being together is enjoying the benefits of youth.
And what about getting married? To be very realistic, once two people are about to get married, they will immediately transition from the novice village to the hell mode. Three views, habits, loan pressure, betrothal gifts, support for the elderly, children's education, etc. These problems instantly weighed on two people. They had no worries when they fell in love before, but now they will be more worried and exhausted. .
At this time, do you want to play a game while taking a break? Come on, we haven’t discussed the bride price yet! Want to buy a bag with your spare money? Dream on, I don’t know if the mortgage will be paid off in hundreds of years! Want to take a quick trip? Come on, if the leader doesn’t allow overtime work on weekends, it’s already a big deal!
This has led to a very serious problem - there is a strong and huge contrast between love and marriage. Two people who were originally carefree suddenly have to face one kind or another every day. Problems, and no previous experience at all, the slightest disturbance is enough to make two people panic.
In other words, the reason why these lovers who have been together for a long time choose to separate at the end of the marriage is because the two people have never prepared anything for marriage, or have any thoughts, but because Lazy and never took any real action.
Those couples who have been in love for a long time have the ability to solve problems that occurred before marriage. And those who are unprepared, when faced with problems, will only complain over and over again "why did the problem occur?"
These couples who cannot make it to the end also have a common problem:
Always With the idea of ??"if there is someone who loves me, there will be no problems in marriage", in the endIt is easy to be killed by marriage in the end. These people imagine marriage too simply, thinking that as long as there is love, no problem is a problem. They have been burning each other's youth and never learned to grow and reflect in the process of love.
At the same time, even if these people have been in love for five years, you will find that "the way they get along after five years is no different from the way they get along in the first year." We get tired of being together when we have nothing to do, we occasionally go out to eat or watch a movie, or we have a cold war when there is some conflict. Every time, one party will give them a chance and then continue to reconcile.
It’s like two children playing house. They have been in love for five years, but they have actually repeated the same day thousands of times.
Finally, when facing marriage, the two people discovered that "we have so many incompatibilities that have not been reconciled, and there are so many problems that have not been resolved before."
